took my pay. (:

well, actually nothing much. working life is tired but time past faster. hahs. not working with esteen anymore. :( i miss using com &everything. ahhhhh. nvm, my life is happier now. got darling, brothers, sisters. (: i'm satisifed.

i know i can't bear to let go, but will i return? i doubt so. ahhhhh.

tmr off, going out with darling. to get my shoe &bag? ahhhh. 1/4 of my pay to mummy. (: shall save 1/4 of it. the rest to get present &my stuffs. time to pamper. &&all the money is my hard work! hohoho. i'm happy. although is tough working for a living, but at least when i spend it, i will think, everymin everyhour of working &all the money is hard work! this holiday didn't get much from mummy. i'm 16, older enough to be independent. hahs.

dec will be a tiring month. i only got 5days off for the whole month! 6th to shop &his bday. 7th out with huimin. 14 &15 chalet. 18 &19 results. &1day if the particular off my manager give me. the rest is i requested for it. hahs. he forgo the off days he's giving me. ahhhh. i'm gonna be dead. luckily i've got afternoon shift. (: even 13 got chalet i only can go after my work. ahhhh, i'm so tired. hahahas.

like just 2more weeks my results will be out. ahhhhh, i'm soooo scare. sighhhhh. whatever. i just love my days now. theres nth much to be worry for except my diet! manager have been treating me almost everyday! ahhhhh. i dont want lah. next year will start yoga &others. (((((:

haven't been blogging recently. busy working! consecutive 6days full shift in a row lah. but lucky got 1day afternoon. hahs.

thursday went out with jocelyn, her brother, reach. it was like a bad bad day for us. hahs. morning went to do hair. ah, colour gone. dont really feel like re-dying but mummy say very ugly. hahas. so shall see when be. either dying back or colour. watched casino royal. NICE! but abit long sia. hahahs. after that, went lavender meet yang, yong &garie. had fun. (:

sunday working till late evening, when over to east coast to meet those brother. celebrating zhiwei's belated birthday. ate seafood, drank. (: then played fire crackers. cool. desmond make spaceship. LOL. zhiwei one won't fly. lousy sia. they're so cute lah. hahs. but i didnt really join them. too tired. but seeing them happy &smiled. (((:

today after work meet yang for dinner. when cin, hongkong cafe. yummy. hahahs. well, nothing much. pictures. (((:

sorry friends if i promised you'll to go out, but i failed. =x i'll try my best to fix out one day! ((((:






COOL! next time my wedding cake will be like this. hahas! :DDD






jocelyn, henry, reach &me. (:


effect by henry. hahah!


that's all ba. tmr working afternoon shift. ahhhh!

well, i shldnt be here blogging but still i am. im just bored if i dont use com. hahs.
anyway, just some pics on monday out with darling.
accompanied darl to get her jeans then watched DOA. it's nice. hahs. (((:
it's been long since i last watched movie. hahs.
ahhhh.
zy, ys, garie came over to find me. accompany me for dinner &waited for me to end work.
thanks man. hahhs. then accompany them to lavender to meet yong, beng, des, jas was there. (;
chatted with ys &beng. hahs. nth much. garie &zy accompany me home. (: thanks again.
hahs. two ahbengs. hahahahs.
thanks for making my days a wonderful one. ((((:


hahs. cool?

unable to take with the xmas tree. ):


my love. hahs. (:


the mushroom is cute.

woah. so tall.!

zilian. hahs. very long didnt zilian le. =D


do i look cool? hahs! 3tall man!

darling is so shy. hahs!


tmr working alone. esteen off. hahs. enjoy working. time pass so fast. hahs!
shall go shopping &bigbig feast when i get my pay. :DDDD

am i late?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZHIWEI! =DDD

well, haven't been coming online for 3days. omg. it's like hell man. hahs.
working life is tiring, but time pass fast.
everyday is like wake up, prepare for work, then after work, home &slp. ahhhh.
it's good lah. however, i still think everything is wrong. hahs.
everything went so wrong. it's always the happy moments that doesnt last.
fcuk lah. my life is still so fcuk up.
everytime i get home i tend to be feeling down.
no one is there for me. sometime 'alarm clock'. sighhhhhh.
i really hate my fcuking life lah. it totally sucks.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.

well, i enjoy myself on wed. hahs. out with jocelyn, zhiyang &yongsiang.
bought many things. 3tops &1bottom. hahs.
we even went to the play the kids arcade. hahs. it's cool lahs. &fun.
i've got no childhood lah. so i dont get to play them when i'm young. hahs.
perhap i cant rmb anything lah. it was so cool. LOL.
then jocelyn went for dinner &i left with ys &zy to concourse. pool!
but im so lazy so we end up playing photo hunt after few games. hahs.
was fun lah! hahs. (((: yong &beng came later. they accompany me to maine's house to get my puma bag. (((((:
thankkssss alot sia. hahhhhs. zy was so xia suey in the bus. hah!
well, headed for supper. roti prata. LOL. but by the time &dead beat.
bad mood &attitude when they disiao me. hahs.
they send me home again. thanks! hahs.

tmr afternoon shift. cool. hahs.
monday off. will be going out with jocelyn. yea. ((((:
i miss youuuu lah. hahs.
yujie is nice to visit me. hahhs. then when over boonkeng mrt to find him chat awhile.
but is actually he accompany me to wait for bus. hahs. THANKS! ((((((:
chatted with him quite alot. hahhhhs.
well, i'm tiredddd.


Happy Birthday Zhiwei in advance.

i afraid i wont have time to blog. so yea! ((((: cheers .

i want to watch movieeee! i want to go shopping! i want to watch my drama! i want to enjoy myself! i want to be happy! ahhhhhhh
i hate my oh-so sucky life!!

working this two days. shiyok. time past real fast.
monday work with esteen, today work alone with alex. hahs.
ytd salesonly 400++. today sales 722! cool.
hahs. quite pissed with one korean customers. scuks lah.
i entertain her for fcuking half an hour &she spent only 70 with alot free gift here &there. KNS!
actually is nothing de. then she keep want this free there free. go&die lah. LOL.
well, today off at 10. kept talking to jocelyn when there's no customers.
got two guy come disiao. well, ofcause i entertain them. hahs.
but awhile i'm bored so just ignore them lah. LOL.
TMR OFF! hahs. meeting jocelyn out to get my shorts, top, jeans. hahs.

well, since everything is over i really dont want to think much.
let fate &time decided everything. i'm all on my own &iknow i can.
my 'alarm clock' will support me &cheer me up. hahs.
ilovemybrothers,darlings,sisters,friends.! =DDD
if you don't want continue to be frens i cant do anything.
but still i'll. ahhhh.
dead beat.!

who understand how i'm feeling now.
what the fcuking hell happen. you say im fine like nothing happened?
how you know? you mean you understand me so well?
i'm telling you right now, i'm not feeling fine. not at all. not a single minute.
&DON'T EVEN COMPARE ME WITH ANYONE ELSE.
I FCUKING HATE COMPARSION. IT SUCKS.
something tragic happened and all went so wrong.
it was heartbreaking but things are way beyond our control.
everything happen too fast. an unpexpected one.
&it is that scary that i cant stop it from happening. i'm speechless still.
i never imagine this day happened. i'm the one in fault &not him.
i'm the one who is sorry. i let him down. i break my promise like how you did.
maybe we are from the different world. time past, everything changes.
sorry for breaking your heart. i know no words can convince you.
hate me if you want. forget me it you want.
letting me go is the best way to know what i really want.
i'm a real big fool to let my beloved ones off.
life is unfair. who will understand me that well like how zh does.
why god take me away from him? whenever i'm sad, he will know.
from how i speak he understand. why? sigh.
i shldn't say this but i really miss it alot. sighhhhhh.
if i've got 3wishes, i wish i can return to the past.
i wish i know how to cherish everyone. i wish i'm not myself now.
you say i didnt care for you at all. you dont understand. i did care, but i dont know how to express out.
you know i'm bad in expressing my everything right? haiss.


i'm all on my own now. just like i'm all on my own in this eerie jungle.
i don't know it'll bother me so much but it does. i'm no longer the happy girl i used to be anymore.
don't make me sad, i'm so weak now.

i expected a wonderful day but it didn't turn up well.
not that bad, at least i laughed &lighten myself. (:
raining heavily this afternoon &it sucks lah!
conference with jocelyn, zy, zw while waiting for the rain to get smaller.
hahs. took cab to jocelyn house then ahead to parkway.
accompany her to make her heels then had some food.
walked over to teoheng. we were like late for 1hour. hahs.
&&saw celine there with std &boss. so coincidence.
sing &sing. not really in mood of singing, i guess due to the weather.
raining day sucks. hahs. it's cooling but it turns me off.
sang till 9 &took cab over to pick dajie &headed to aunty's house warming.
woah, it's rather far then i expected. but dajie pay the cab fare. =DD
the food was nice, cause im hungry. =x the apartment is pretty!
my aunty is so fortunate to have such a filial daughter. bought for my aunty a apartment instead of a 3room flat my aunty wanted.
she's a director of a bank (no idea which bank, but i think it's oversea bank.).
&&she's clever in investment lah. OMG. she's single &earning 20k+ per mth.
&&she's only 20 plus turning 30s? OMG. i envy her lah. hahs.
&i'm in love with her car. hahs! &one of my cousin's daughter is in RGS.
wakao, why all my relative so clever sia. kns. LOL!
maybe i'm just jealous of them. i'm lazyyyyy. no self-discipline. ahhhh. LOL.
hahs. nvm, next time it will be my parent turn. =D i'm a filial daughter ok. hahs. whatever.


im bored. bored. bored.
what happen to everyone sia. talk to me lah. im bored.
fcuking bored. im feeling fcuking unhappy.
why life is sooo unfair. everyone is enjoying life, but not me? ahhhhhhh.
i'm a no-life girl lah. starting to work on moday. lido, 5days week. COOL.
i won't need to stress over how am i going to spend my day. hahs.
major of my frens are also working &studying for o's.
can't wait for the trip to sentosa &shopping.
ahhhhhhhh. should i dye my hair? it's troublesome lah. hahs.




it's always the happy moments that doesnt last. ))):

ohwell, im having bad mood. i'm strike by emo bugs out there. grrr.
math paper2 today. hopefully, i can score well.
it's not as difficult as paper1. to me lah, but to others i dont know. hahs.
that qns on investigate problems is difficult lah. maybe cause i got panic when the last 5min.
ahhhh. sucks lah. not enough time to complete all qns. )):
what to do? life still have to go on. just wait for the results &it tells all.
hahas. can't wait till 18dec. nlevel result. sighh.
well, life going smoothly? i doubt so.
my life is totally bizarre. i can't predict what 'll happen next.
it's hell hectic. damn it. all i can say is just, i don't know.
sorry peeps if i gave attitude, i'm just not feeling alright at time. forgive me. (:
&i know you'll. hahs. =DD
finally talking to my beloved brother. just love him to bits.
wondering who? hahs. undisclosed. =DD all the best for those remaining papers!
hahs. tmr ktv again. =DDD well, only place i can lighten myself.
after that maybe aunty's house warming? depend which ktv we going. hahs.


relationship is just a status. i'm not into it. why so good of being into relationship?
to my unawareness, many of my frens/seniors who are in long term relationship had all broke up. it makes me really feel more not into it.
if i were to say, loving someone is not compulsory to be with him/her, i'm totally bullshitting.
who dont wish to be with her/his love ones. everyone wish, but some they failed.
i wish to be with you &i've spent going 2years of my life with you.
somehow, now i need some space of my own.

hais, i really got no mood to slp.
i really dont want to see you like that.
stop telling those words. i dont want to stress myself.
hais. if this really continue, i really cant bear to see you like this anymore.
you're suffering, so am i? im just acting like nothing happen.
you know how difficult is it? it's really tiring.
my energy get used up very fast. hais.
i dont know what i really want. sigh.
maybe elin told me de is right, i should let go to make you stop suffering.
i know sooner or later i still have to leave.
somehow we are from the difficult world.
i can't suit into your world. you want me to change for you, it's impossible.
to me, i want the enviroment to suit me, ¬ to suit my enviroment.
i can't give up everything, my friends just because of you.
yes, i love you but i cant seems to be that. cause to be, love doesnt last.
seeing all my friends relationship all just ended, it mays me feel more to let go.
i really dont want to see you suffer. somehow i miss you deeply.
but still i choose not to meet you, i dont nkow how to face you.
i really wish to hug you tightly the last time? hais.
i dont know. sometime i sms, i really can't stop typing the word, dear.
i have been using it for like going 2years. hais.
i really dont know what to do. who can tell me.
hais. i really feel like crying out loud. my heart is aching.
it's so pain that i really have to cry out loud soon.
i've been controlling &controlling. sigh.
i can;t describe in words my feeling now. everything turn into so bitter. sigh.
i really hope that im dead, so i'm wont be here suffering.

Well, today's the 6th of the month. Ahhhhh. Happy 23th mth
Hais. Don't ask me what i want. I just want to continued to be like that.
The r/s is hanging half way. I feels stress when it come to r/s problem.
I don't know why. Sigh. I really don't want to be in r/s now.
So what you are with the person you love? To me, nothing will last.
Too little confidence for me to last till until i'm an adult. Really.
Sometime i feel so tired. I don't know what to do.
I just think it's too early for me to be in a r/s now. I'm not into this anymore.
Sorry to say i've changed, i mean my thinking.
Not i force myself to change, maybe is the age that makes me change?
Hais. I don't even know what i really want now.
Is all in a messy. Haiss. I'm too tired, too lazy to care about those things.
My energy get used up very fast. I don't know why. Mood swing esp.
Getting bad to worst lah. Ahhhhhhh. I don't want.
I really want to keep myself busy ¬ think of those stuffs.
I really don't feel like thinking. I know it's tiring for you to wait for me.
&&i really can't bear to let you. If i really let go, will we still be friends?
Can we still go out together? I doubt so. That's why i don't want to give up.
You even say that don't make you happy for nothing.
Then i shall tell you, how many times you make me happy for nothing??
You never know. All your promises &everything which make me happy for nothing.
Sorry if i make you feel that. Haisss. I really don't know what to do.
If i really let go &when i get myself sorted out with everything, i guess you're gone.
&i know i can't blame you. At first was me who let you go.
Please please please, don't get so affect by all this you're going thru.
Afterall, studies shld be your first priority. If r/s is your first priority then i'm wordless.
All i can say is SORRY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, HOW TO MAKE DECISION.


I really wish to sleep forever, so i'm won't need to get stress up by all this.
Crying &the pain in my heart. haisss. Let me sleep forever. Sighhh.
Let me get brainwash, to forget everything &start anew.
I know i have to accept all this consequence since i have started this r/s.
No r/s is perfect. On the outer shell, it may be always sweet &loving.
But inside, it's never sweet at all. For minority maybe, but not for majority.
Sighhhhhh. Now i wish &waiting for is my Nlevel result. Ahhhhhh.
Next, i just to concentrate on my paper2 &my work.
I don't care how others look at me, think of me. As long as i know myself i'm pretty fine.
I'm still able to cope with my life. &I still have a grps of friends who's cheering me up.
&my fav girls are there for me. ((((: &he's still there beside me.

Everytime when i come online, i will be thinking what shld i blog.
I really don't know why my life end up to be in this state. Ahhhhh.

First day of work at bugis. Luckily wasn't late. Hahas.
So nice of zw, cy, ys came to find me &cause they was at bugis lah. LOL.
All disiao &disiao. Sucks loh. They are nice cause they bought for me ice mountain. :DD
Trained by elin. Wah, many prices to rmb sia. STRESS!
Next week not working! Siannn. But next next week jiu working at lido.
5days week i think. Hahas. Long hours! So i won't be bored! Hahas.
After work, elin meeting xian ming. He's nice to drive us to eat beancurd then to marina south pie!
Woahhh. '风景' there is sooo fraking pretty! AWESOME! Hahahs.
But there's one girl crying. Hahaha. xian ming got irritated so went off. NICE SIA!
Then he drive me home, my hp batt flat. SUCKS lah.
Tired ar. Tmr working again. Then maybe gong to meet ys to study a while.
Olevel math! OMG. So fast sia. Hahah.

What else to blog? Nothing. ((((: Ohya, ytd went airport to study.
Saw kimberly &shijia there. Then jocelyn &i send them off to mrt.
So fun lah. Jocelyn pushed 3of us with the trolley. Hahaha. SHIOK SIA.
First time play until so crazy at airport. Hahahs.
Had marrybrown for dinner. Darling jocelyn say she never take skytrain before, so we are nice to accompany her. HAHAH.
Was fun ytd. Hahah.

Gotta go alr! Working tmr! ((((:
Everyone taking O's, JIAYOU. ((:

我们怎么了

落泪以前再看一眼
你模糊侧脸
这会不会是最后纪念
我凝视你而你凝视
窗外的阴天
一句抱歉都僵在嘴边
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否
住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活
你的笑脸还在胸前
晃动着昨天
为何回忆会让人晕血
如果我们继续向前走进雨里面
会不会有溶解的危险
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活
明明从前
连真挚都很甜美
现在怎会
说句话就能肿一边
我搞不懂
我们到底怎么了
诚实的背后
是否
住着伤口
我想不透
我们的爱怎么了
雨下过以后
是否
能让什么
复活


Watch finish 'taste sweetlove' alr. NICE ENDING! Love it so much!
이완 / Lee Wan AKA 김형수 / Kim Hyung-soo (Kim Hyeong-su) - CUTE HUNK!!


His golden hair nicer! Hahs. Whatever.


Today went swimming again, with elin. (((:
Then saw yoga courses. But i'm afraid DEC i've got no time. Grrrrr.
Ate mac, then got 4stupid guy, real childish. How old alr still want play this type. LOL.
Somemore so KP &fugly. HAHAHA. ;DDD
Just hang up the phone with jocelyn. Gonna sleep soon.
Tmr 8am consultation. Now alr 1.45am. SHIT!
GOODNIGHT. ((:



Who got 'the outsider II' &&'1% of anything'!?!?! Ahhhh.

Everyday went i'm home, i'm start to think of many things.
My mood is soo low. I don't know why. Hais.
That's why sometime i don't like to come home early.
All i can do at home, eat, sleep, dvds, tv, com. NO MORE. Hais.
I'll keep eating &eating non stop when i'm at home.
Haiss. Why am i like that? I though i have think over it alr, but in fact i'm not.
Now you ask me, will i miss you i can only tell you i don't.
Now i only miss my grandmother who's sick yet i can't get to see her.
Hais. Mum don't want to bring me in. I can't possible go myself.
Ahhh, i dont know. I attitude my father. I feel so guilty.
I know i shldnt have, but still i did it again.
&this is the first time i eat dinner with mum in silent.
Hais. I can't possible tell her i'm suffering here right?
IMPOSSIBLE LAH. LOL.
I must greatly thanks jocelyn &the brothers for keeping me accompanied.
Never failed to cheer me up, console &advice me. ((((:
Yes, everything happen too fast, too fast.
Too fast till i'm too lost. I need someone to guide me thru.
Tell me why you need my love so much, because u love me??
Prove to me that i've done wrongly. Prove to me i need you.
Cause i feel nothing now. I don't know what to do.
I'm just like a kite which had stuck onto the tree.
I really don't need anyone by myself.
I feel like giving up, but i don't bear to. Afterall it's so long alr.
I'm clinging half way, without knowing what to do.

I don't intend to continued studying for sec5.
Maybe i will go for my future since mum is supporting me.
But still depend on my results ba. If my english got 4? i'll definitely go up.
But grade 5? I might reconsider. It's very risky lah.
Hahaha. Anyway if i dont get a chance to take Olevel, nvm.
Cause i'm having olevel math this year, at least i take before olevel.
Ahhh, whatever lah.
shall wait for my result then i think about it again ba.

Sigh, life is getting better, but i still dont intend to return. isit this better?
AHhhh, i dont know. Maybe yes maybe no. I don't know.
Having yoga lesson with elin, huimin. Jocelyn &rest not sure yet. HAHAHA.
Then swimming! Jogging! Cycling! HAHAH. Yea. This holiday i'm gonna exercise! (((((:
GOD, let me smile, let me be happy! I don't want to be shagg everyday. ((((:


My favourite phrase for today!
EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I NEED A BOYFRIEND?!?!

I miss isabel wong jingping. you MIA until where. got you brosistz forget me le ar! FU! HAHAHA. (((: See this rmb to msg me.

WHO GOT THE OUTSIDER DVD/VCD!?!?