Had dinner with haowen, eugene &nicnah. (: Nicnah came to pick me up &headed marina south. Afterwhich, went concourse. I realised it's been 4928375423years since i played pool. Haha. Then nicnah sent us home. (: &that stupid haowen keep teaching nic stupid stuns lah. it's sooo scary lah. LOL! (:

I'm trying to take things easy, but ... I'm always not satisfied with the things i've. Am i to be blamed? Maybe yes, i'm the one who caused everything. So what should i do? I GIVE IN alr. Yes, GIVING IN again. dumbfcuk. But, it's still like that. Hais. I don't know what to do anymore. I NEED A BREAK.

thinking back of all the sweet time we have. i miss it. how i wish we were like the past. no quarrels at all. cause you're give in to me whenever i've got mood swing. looking at all the photos, the smiles on our face, the happiness on our face. hais. why things changed so fast? i really miss those times.

1st priority, study for O's. (: All i can think about now is study. He can, why can't i? (:
I'm going to put everything aside. It's not going to work when only one party is putting in effort. So yea. :D I hope i can do it.

The hardest part of walking away from you is knowing you wont run after me.


I'm exhausted. I need a break. No matter how much i say, you will still never understand. You make me feel like give up. I'm serious. I have never been like that before, this is my 1sttime. When will you start reflecting upon yourself and guess me a nice answer? &you had never prove to me anything at all. I felt insecure. You did nothing to make me think that i can trust you, cause you never opened your heart and let me in. I guess we need to cool down. Cause you don't even know what are the needs in r/s. I've done enough for this r/s. Neither give up or continue i will be suffering cause the problem is not solve. You are also avoiding, putting blame on me. What have i done wrong in a r/s? All im an doing is to achieve what i want.


If you love a person, you'll never hurt her, you will do all your best to protect her from any pain. Is he doing that? Is that how he views love? Love is about thinking of the person when he's not ard & have the glow in your heart knowing that she is here.
Love always start with bliss, contentment but end with wretchedness.


But i know i will never let go this r/s. It means a lot to me. For what good reasons? I don't know. Because i'm too attracted by him. (:

I GUESS I HAVE GOT SERIOUS MOOD SWINGS.

• Has been eating a lot this few days.
• Mummy say i'm stressed up.
• But i haven't been studying.
• So what's the problem with me?
• Cause i'm afraid i can't do well?
• Or because i can't sit still can study?
• Hais, no one understand what i'm going thru.
• Cause i, myself is unsure what i want.

Forgive me for giving you attitude, i don't wish too. Whenever i've mood swing, i really feel like crying. I don't know what i'm feeling like that. Am i under any pressure? Hais.

Upon receiving all my tests paper, i really feel like crying. My hard work also never paid off, instead i screwed up all of them. You know other got stage fright, but i got exam fright. LOL. Even my tuition tcher says that. Hais. Tell me what to do.

Saturday

• Studied with bel at Aljunied Mac.
• Garie came to look for us while waiting for his friends
• Bel left at 10plus.
• Zhiyang, fengyao came. Followed by dawei.
• Studied one chapter of history.
• Accompanied them to fag &walked home.

I miss baobei. Things not solve till now, just kept repeating. I'm trying very hard to calm myself, not to think about it. After since that quarrel, we aint like before. &that quarrel caused everything to change. Haiz, can someone just turn time back?

I really feel like killing myself. I don't know how to carry on. Hais, am i a useless gf? I can't even ask my bf to do something for me, to accompany me. WHY DO I HAVE SUCH A BF? Or isit to him i'm not important. I really feel like giving up.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO KEN! (:


Ahh, it's the end of the week. DAMN, mock test is next week. Many test coming up! I'm going bonker. My study mood isn't here yet. When i reach home, 1st thing i will do is to switch on my com. Ahhhhh. This will shows that maybe i won't score well for my O's.

Can someone just wake me up, unplug my computer and television, cut my internet line away. This will work ok, but it's impossible man. LOL!

How many more days to O's? I'm running short of time! I need to get started if not i will screw my O's. ))))):

Grad's day will be on BAOBEI's birthday. Last year was mine, now it's his one. LOL. Other school grad day is end of this month lah. But i don't mind lah, cause we will have more revision with teachers. Heeees.

Ohhhh, and there's many OCTOBER BABYS! Hahahaha. Is like almost everyweek??? I'm gonna be broke man.

Alright i shall stop my nonsense and get started with my tuition hmwk. (:



Ps: New spree in my blogshop. Do take a look. (:

It's always better to be save then to be sorry. (: It's always better to keep things to yourself then to say it to others. You won't know when they will betray you. They can be acting so nice in front of you, but stabbing at the back. They enjoys doing thing, but they will never know how hurt that person could be. She/he treated you as her/his friend, and the trust in them but they tend to abuse it. I wonder why, why do such people exist? If you don't wish others to stab you at the back, please don't do this to others.

I don't understand why. Well, i guess i shall not say any further. We can't changed anyone but to accept them. I hope it won't happen to me, as i know all my friends are loyal. If not, i rather not to know anything.

Be optimistic, &i will. (:


That's a random topic (:

I'M ALWAYS NOT SATISFIED!

Things are just repeating over and over again. It's never gonna stop cause we are always avoiding. I'm trying my very best alr, but it's not working. Does the reason lies on me? It seems to be i always tried to start everything. Making thing big. &it's becaue i felt no assurance.

I've alr put aside my past, but you are the one who cant accept my past. You told me not to reminisce my past. I'm not, but you are. Half year, i've put down everything and start a new. &all because i love you wholeheartedly.

I don't mind not celebrating our mthsaries but you are not even bother about how long we are together, the date. I'm speechless.

There's no way for me, trying to be happy when you're making me sad. (:

Weeeee, HAPPY HALF YEAR to BAOBEI CHENGYONG!
I glad we are strong after every quarrels. I want to overcome all the obstacles with you. Let me share with you every sad/happy moment. I will cherish you well, i promise! (: I hope its same for you. I want to be your 1st and last one! (: Can i ? Love you many ! Kissesss.

Baby didn't attend school. He's down with slight fever, cough &flu. Sayang. &so i'm all alone in school today, but was texting with him. Heees. Faster recoverrrr! I miss you so muchhhh, baby. Intend to go over &find him but after consultation, i'm too tired. Gees. Baby, rest more &recover soon!

Ahhhh, kill me man. Everyone is study but i'm not. I'm still slacking. Damn shit. I'm stress when everyone's study, i don't want to screw my O's. I got 28 for prelims. HORRIBLE! How am i going to get 16points or below? Ahhhh. Night study start tmr. Should i go ? But i want to watch my show! Ahhhhh. I'm short of time, can you just pass slowly? If you're nice enough, stop moving for 1month &i will study hard for this 1month. But its impossible lah! LOL

Till then, study hard people! &i will sleep tight. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GARIE ! (:

Went garie's bbq ytd. Before that, met darling &damien to get garie's present. Cabbed to ecp. Slacked then bbq. I enjoy myself with darling, pretty stefanie &cutejasmine. Hahaha. We are the women doing bbq. (: Darling &damien left early, so i chatted with stefanie &jasmine after darling left. (; Enjoyed myself. Homed at 3plus. Baby don't allow me to go home late cause i got tuition the next day. Haven't been tonning over at bbq after since i-dont-know-when. LOL! (:

Talked out with baby. I'm glad everything is over. I miss him like hell. His hugs is so warm. Hehes. I don't wish to have the next time again. Arghhhh. It's torturing. (:

Time to study. (: 25days to Olevel! Goshhhh.



Went Mac after tution. Gosh, forgot tp bring my pencil box. So went to buy a pen &liquid. So dumb can. Baby say i'm stupid. ): Walked all the way to mac, then realised it. LOL. Zhiyang, self-proclaimed "chio bu sister" came to meet me. LOL. Accompanied me home cause he meet fengyao. Hahaha. I studied SS ! Finished half chapter? Hahaha. Arghh, i'm running out of time!
Baby's asleep &i'm so boreddddd. I can't study at home lahhhh.



Once again, HAPPY 17th birthday sister! (:

All i want from you, is a little more care, love .
All i hope from you, is to understand me, what i'm trying to say to you.
All i need from you, is give me more of your time.
Can you ?

Hais, I'm speechless. I don't know when/how then you will understand what i'm trying to say. I understand what you mean, but i just purposely don't want to understand. I want you to understand meeeee.

I want us to be like before. The sweet coupleeeee. You know what, i love you baby. I'll be strong, i don't want to give up cause i know you love me.


I just want to learn from my past, to amend all the thing i've done wrong. I can't do it on my ex, so i'm doing it on you. Cherishing everyday with you, but you don't want. I felt so useless as your gf, i don't know what you want. When did you tell me before about your stuffs? NEVER ONCE, you get it. No matter how long, how many msg i sent to you, you still won't get it. I'm trying, i'm trying to be strong, to overcome every obstacles, but you are not. I'M A GIRL, i've got my own pride. I'm afraid i will start to give up you. YOU GET WHAT I MEAN? I'm flooding you with my sms-es. not 1page but 5-6pages. Not once, but over 10times. But what reply i got? Useless ones. None that can make me feel better. Just simple thing you also can't give me, how you expect me to be happy? Becos of you, i've got no appeite. Even a small bowl of noodle i can't finish. what actually you want me to go?

Is it once i did a mistake, there's no way to amend it ? I just want to show that i'm learning from my mistake, being a better person &girlfriend. PLS, just laugh at me, i'm just a useless person, a failure girlfriend.

Earthquakes !

I felt earthquake !

Did any of you felt it too ?

Its so scaryyyyyy. ):

I tot i'm going to die. HAHAHA.

But chill, it's over! (:

I felt so useless.






Go away, no one understand. I'm a failure, in everything.
I feel so down, cause of youyouyou! fcuk
&yes, i regretted.
No mood to study at all. &its because of you.
because of you i became so weak.
because of you i did so much.
because of you i am willing to give in.
but you never appreciated.
So what for am i doing so much? No one is going to appreciate.
What i got in return? Nothing, just a piece of shit from you.
You never understand, im fcuking hurt.
But you never care.
No matter how much i speak up, you always avoid.
Never once you cheered me up.
You're useless, but i'm super useless. Get it?

HAPPY SWEET SEVENTEEN, ISABELWONG &KRIS!



Friday went to celebrate kris birthday, but before that went typ to get chocolate. &my 50bucks is gone! Goshhhhhh. Yummy chocolate, so i guess it worth the money. (: I wasn't late! =D Met jocelyn and damien. Walked around ps, then went over fish and co. (: Eat, slack, jokes, cakes, laughs &home. Was kinda tired. (; Came home, baked cookies for bel ! I hope it tastes good. (:

Constance yet to send me the rest of the pic. (:

Woke up, had tuition. Prepared and met bel at bugis. Bought my bag, flowery. (: Went parco to find her friend and we left for town. Walked around, went hereen to collect her sister's card &had to fish &co. (AGAIN, cause jumbo is fully booked. Ahhh) Ate something different. Surprised! Bel was shocked! Its successful ! (: She smiled happily. Ate, slack, cake &homed. No where to go. (: Hopped on the last bus &i tot i missed 64 so i cabbed home. Went i reached home, i saw bus 64. Ahhhhh, Waste my money.


I've been finding hell lot. My wallet is on fire! Spent 300+bucks this week. Goshhhhhhh. No more shopping, &i'm serious this time. (: STUDY IS WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING, NOT SHOPPING. (:


HEEELLLOOOOOO OLEVELLLL. (:

Bel, i hope you enjoyed yourself today. 7years of friendship and counting. (: I'm glad that i make you the happiest girl today. (: No matter what, i am always there for you.

A waste trip to tpy with elin. We wanted to find the chocolate shop i saw on HDB TAITAI2, but we walked around and around of tpy, finding high and low, but we failed. My leg hurts. Ytd went jogging &muscle ache is hunting me. Had to town, met baobei. wanted to get new clothing but end up getting a heels. LOL. I just need plain dresses &tops. (: Simple is me. Headed bugis, wanted to get a new tote, but the sales girl told me new stocks will be in either friday or sat so i shall see i can make a trip down again. (: baby sent me home and he left. (:

I felt so sorry. I didn't study for this whole week. ): But i PROMISE i'm gonna settle down after holiday. Getting my ass in front of my books everyday. I SWEAR i will. O's is drawing near, i can't waste my precious time now. =x

Tmr going to make another trip down to tpy &this time around i make sure i will buy their chocolate! LOL. Aftermath, kris pre-brithday celebration! (: I'm looking forward.

&&ofcause bel's birthday celebration! Yuppie. I'm planning. Any idea. I guess choco buffet is OUT cause it's FATTENING! SEAFOOD, our FAVOURITE. (:

Ok, im done. Time to sleep. G'night!

Went jogging with ahying around evening time. Run around sims drive &it was tiring! Haven't been running after 2.4road run! I need to run often. constance! when are we going gym? Seriously, i need to work out if not one day, you will see a FAT XMEI. Hahahah! "fei fei ju le bu" HAHAHA!

Talked a lot with bel. Serious talk, bitching &abt the rifle news. &we realised it's our FREN's ex bf. GOSH. ):

I feel like changing phone. sony ericsson again? Slide up phone again? When will they have nice flip phone? Haiz. i don't like samsung phone. ):

Ahhhh, everyone's studying but what am i doing? Online, listening music, sleeping.

Gosh, i need to get my ass in front of my books and study! but i'm tooo lazy. Olevel is just 1an a half months away but i'm not worry at all.

Well, went school today. Got back my POA prelims result. I passed, got a B! Weeeeee. Unexpected lah. But i'm happy! =D Baby improve tremendously, got influence by me leh. Haha!

This week schedule is full. Tmr need to get bel &kris's present. Friday out my girls again. Saturday, isabel's birthday! Either going for chocolate buffet or jumbo or maybe others! =D Ahhh, i am setting my wallet on fire! =x




I shall FORCE myself to study now! till then, loves.

*jogging, anyone?

Went to janet's pre-birthday party at her house! HAPPY SWEET FIFTEEN, janet! (:
Met jocelyn, constance, huiting &kris. As usual, i was late. =x Went jocelyn's house and we online shopped! asking them to kup. =D Bought durian puffs and we start bitching, gossiping, serious talk, anything that comes to our mind! Ate, sing, cam-whoring &cakes. Jocelyn got so fed up went we are talking about that girl. (: Aftermath, we started bitching &this time is about ourselves! huiting = er si, kris = kong ba, constance = ling shan, jocelyn = shan ling (which is her chi name), xmei = yi shan. SO FUNNY! Esp huiting's one. Bus-ed home.
I love them manymany!

I've got so many thing to say, but i don't know where to start.

But anw, it's holidays! &i'm just came back from malaysia!

I miss baby badly. (:



my cute nephew! but he's super naughty!